Wednesday, May 31, 2006
having only daughters
my father taught me how to hunt
me being at eight, the eldest.
he sat me down in the green woods
and handed me the shotgun. he said
"look for what is not supposed to be there
that is where you will find what to aim for."
so i looked for what was not supposed to be
and saw what was there
and i laid down my gun and walked away.
now, so many years later
i looked for what was not supposed to be
and saw what was there
i laid down my heart
and you walked away.
this was in last month's FOUR VOLTS
since the new issue is up, i thought i'd post my poem
on my blog now. i hope you will like it.
it's a favorite of mine. s
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
going up to the mid 90's today!
that is unusual for now in pgh.
i was out all weekend, funny, the places
i used sunblock on burned, the places
i rubbed suntan lotion on didn't!
thanks again, to pudd'n boy and
his wife gerri-lee and bec and rich
and hoochie lou, shivers and sweet lips.
those are the dogs (the picture is shivers!)
had a nice time. s
Monday, May 29, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
just want to wish everyone a good memorial day.
i hope everyone stays safe and remembers what this day
is all about.
i support our troops, i despise this war.
i supported the troops in vietnam, i
despised THAT war.
and to the people who insist that i CAN NOT
support the troops without supporting this war.
who are YOU to tell ME what is in my heart? s
i got the bumper sticker over at blue gal!
check her out!http://bgalrstate.blogspot.com/
i had a nice time at the picnic. a lot of good music
and interesting conversation. there was a ton of food.
the weather was beautiful. i made sure to put a lot of
sunblock on my nose (i burn easily!) and as you can see from
this photo, uncle buck was there!
now, for those of you that are regular followers of my little
blog, you recall the poems about uncle buck and sugar lake.
well, most of uncle buck went to sugar lake, but he was such a
sweet and crazy man that loved parties, especially family parties
with pudd'n boy, randy and everyone, that pudd'n kept a little of buck.
i might have mentioned buck was at halloween with all of us
as we handed out candy. well, buck came out for the picnic.
funny, as i wrote, i had a very hard time dealing with tending
to the graves the other day, but having buck come out now and then
is sort of comforting and not macabre in the least. it's a tribute to the man
he was. somewhere buck is smiling and saying,
"go ahead, have another piece of cake! " s
Saturday, May 27, 2006
bob's plans for the holiday weekend:
eat, sleep, chase my steeler football and
beat up my assortment of colorful cat toys.
eat, sleep, watch chipmunks from my perch on the
window of the computer room.
eat, sleep, jump up on mom while she's typing
and try to give her advice on just what makes
for a good poem or even better, help her reply to
those damn political blogs that seem to hold her
interest when she should be paying attention and
lavishing all affections and time on ME!
BUT, she's ok for being just a people and not
lucky enough to be a cat like me!
the mighty, mighty, BOB!
going out later to a picnic at some friend's home.
they have a beautiful backyard and a pool.
i can not swim, but i do sometimes, sit on the edge
and dangle my bare feet in the warm water. it's heated!
me, it wouldn't matter if they had no yard at all. they
are nice people and i like them all. they also have 3
wonderful dogs that i get to pet and play with. they
all have differing personalities and are sweet and funny.
i miss my dogs a lot. i always pray that whoever has them now,
loves them a lot.
i have bob now tho, and he is a sweetie too.
it's nice to have something that loves you, no matter what. s
Friday, May 26, 2006
You Are a Visionary Soul
You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful.In fact, you are often profound
in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
cleaned off the stones, said hello. there's
my grandparent's grave, my uncle , my in-laws
and my nunnu. my great grandfather Antonio.
he died when i was just a toddler, but i felt his presence
even as that tiny being i was.
there were many stories about my nunnu.
he was a "ladies man", that is, UNTIL my
great gramma got wind of it back over in italy.
she saved up the money he was sending her from here
packed up the kids and came over on the boat,
and he came home to the boarding house one day and
BINGO there she was, kids and all!
that takes(pardon the expression) BALLS!!!!
nunnu was homebound from then on.
he liked his homemade wine too.
that he didn't give up. i think next year
i'm bringing up a little to pour on the dirt of his grave.
a little gift because i was told he loved me! s
Thursday, May 25, 2006
memorial day weekend looms.
another cemetery visit, flowers
planted. memories brought out
and either polished til they shine or
hidden under the soil along with the
i am the flower planter, the grave tender
a title bestowed
on me by my grandmother before she
there are years when it doesn't bother me.
years when i want to go say hello to
some of my dead(tho i speak to them anytime i choose)
then there are years like this one. times when
death has been too close for too many.
times when i can feel it , quiet
in a corner, deciding.
years like this, well
i'd rather let the planting go.
done enough planting this year. s
i was talking, well, via blogs, the other day about poetry files
and labeling one file "CRAP" in case i get struck by lightning
that way, as my family are sorting through my things everyone will
understand that these poems and bits and pieces are exactly that, crap.
important in that i use them, a word here a thought there, to create
i try not to throw anything away. poems are found in many places,
even in a folder full of works that i would die all over again, to have
anyone that didn't understand the process read. i've written far more
junk than gemstones.
self confession here. years ago, in a tug of war with my "black dog"
that someone had been keeping well fed
i burned EVERYTHING i had ever written. every fucking word.
poems make a bright blaze. i kept one poem im my heart because
i could not forget that one. to forget that ,would be to forget my
almost child. i rewrote it after i started writing again.
that was years and life times for me, later,when i met a muse
that touched me and let my words come.
now, i refuse to destroy words. they are all precious, the painful and the sweet
even the crap has it's place.
i think of it as fertilizer for the beauty hidden waiting to grow. s
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
one tick of the mantle's clock
no more than that
a soft brush of a mouth on mine
warm and sweet as a baby's breath
as it searches for the breast
i became your nourishment
your kiss moved inside me
as if reaching toward my heart
by the second tick
the moment passed.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Measure for Measure", Act 1 scene 4
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
philip johnson. if you are a regular reader i'm sure
you'll recall philip's work.he was a guest poet on my
blog and his work has been featured here more than
once and his short poems are by far
some of the best around. philip lives
in england and is recuperating from some nasty surgery.
even tho he is in the process of guest editing "transparent words"
he has been writing a few poems of
his own centering on his recent experiences.
i have found that some of the best poetry i've read has come
about from godforsaken trials and pains. writers, most
especially poets, seem to be able to take these and
craft them into things that shine and touch most all in a
very personal way. i was pleased that philip
let me post these poems.consider each carefully . the
impact, the sort of gallows humor yet the strength of the
human spirit is evident in each. s
they gave me a comical chemical
speckled against the washed white walls
silver sparks from around the bed rails
fall onto a glittering fairy drip stand
here and there a cluster of red plastic bags dangle
on the morphine
to see the other chaps with their heads rested upon starched pillows
as if displayed in a butchers shop
the way in which I accepted it
come to this
me to be meat for the pie crust filler
my residue off to the glue factory
post op dawn.
was it me made the wicked laugh
( a post op reflection )?
when I rose to shave
the corpse I saw grin from the washroom mirror
but for the surgeons
Peacemaker, founder of the Iroquois Confederacy, (ca. 1000 AD)
Friday, May 19, 2006
i feel it coming on
blues in the night
deals with a warm mouth devil
or a cold blooded god.
what is sin, greed or
naked pathetic need?
striking deals in the dark
a peddler's market
buying empty blue bowls
that hide the cracks.
dancing in electric blue strobe
movement jagged in pale dead
blue blues midnight
bluhoos, blue hues
i play games with it.
the deck is stacked
but it's the only game in town
another friday. nothing special.
except that i am going out after dinner
to buy a birthday gift for my
utterly smoochable and perfect granddaughter's
this will be her 1st. birthday in this country.
her 1st. with us. we are blessed!
i love shopping for toys!!!!!! s
Thursday, May 18, 2006
got this in from "my daily OM"
May 18, 2006
Working Way Being Happy With Your Job
In our search to define ourselves, we often look to our job to show us our worth. Society does not judge all professions equally, however, and it is not uncommon for the individuals who hold what others may consider to be ordinary or menial jobs to feel that they themselves are ordinary or menial. Yet, in truth, many wonderful and wise people throughout history have held what have typically been perceived as ordinary jobs, and this in no way has had any bearing on whether or not they have managed to contribute their skills and talents to the world. Whether you work in business, education, medicine, retail, or another profession, you worth is inherent to who you are and not what you do for a living. A job that you enjoy, lets you meet your needs, and allows you to live in accordance with your values will always be more gratifying than a high-status job that you dislike. But while experiencing professional satisfaction can be a vital part of being fulfilled by your work, it is important to remember that it is possible to find happiness in any job. This is because what you do is often less important than how you do it. Your attitude and intention can turn a mediocre job into work that fulfills you because of the way that you approach it. If you do your job well and what you do benefits others, then you are doing work that is making this world a better place. If you are happy in your current line of work and feel that it allows you to be yourself and live authentically while meeting your emotional and physical needs and allowing time for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor, then you have found a job that adds value to your life. If you are a waitress, then be the best waitress you can, take pride in your work and others will notice your passion. You can contribute your talents and skills to this world while doing any job. It is not the kind of work you do that allows you to be of service. It is you who must choose to be of service through the work that you do.
i wanted to share this. my grandfather used to tell me this all the time.
he came from italy and worked in the steel mill. i believe it is good advice.
it also helps me to remind myself of it from time to time because
i doubt i will EVER make money from my poetry, but i still
want to do the very best that i can and my words make me more than happy
(when i'm not beating my head against the wall over them!) i hope my words
touch others, that is what i need to do most of all. s
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
it's not that i don't like bobby vinton
but, my god, i've been hearing this same
f'ing commercial for at least 2 weeks already!
my rant for today.
something other than the elections today. ; )
i thought it would be a good one to pass along:
May 16, 2006
Set Yourself FreeLetting Go Of PerfectionIt is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.This doesn't mean that we don't strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection-especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness. In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood-an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else's approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.
Monday, May 15, 2006
we are here in the
cool of the familiar
enduring as we play the machines
using up our monthly checks
faster than our children
used up our youth our health
at times, our marriages
with casual cruelty
as only the young can.
we watch the spinning cards
putting in fives and tens
perhaps the twenty
sent in a card
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Saturday, May 13, 2006
it's sort of funny in a way and sad in a way.
people seem to think that if you try to treat
people as you would like to be treated that
somehow you are a sort of pollyannaish
childlike dreamer. a dogooder, and a fairly boring
human being, i would think.
that is funny and sad.
i would hope that a lot of us, all over the world
would try, at least some of the time, to treat people as
we would be treated.
that doesn't make them OR me a goody two shoes
pollyanna, mother teresa wanna be. in fact i DON'T wanna be
AND i know damn well, i'm NOT.
nope, no way, no how, ha!
those few that really do know me, understand that.
and that's a good thing because it says that even a person
as odd and dark and as pessimistic as i can be most times
can STILL try to make my little space in this world
and my time here, maybe just a bit better in between the
times i really fuck up.
just my little grey saturday musings. s
i used to love watching this man when he would
be a guest on a talk show. he reminded me of an
italian american, mr. rogers ,in his absolute love of people
and his kindness. he was a lot more hyper tho!
he was helpful to people without the "in your face"
style that is popular today. no, clever quips or
confrontations as seems the way to get ratings today.
he just had common sense advice and a lot of love
for his fellow human beings. i miss him. s
i was having dinner at a place out on rt.8 and i saw
a big stretch limo, a stretch hummer limo, and a black limo bus!!!!
as we were driving down rt. 8 after dinner, a big limo was
beside the car at a red light. a BIG kid stood up in a limo
and stuck himself out of the sun roof and waved at his buddy
that was stuck up out of the back sunroof(yes, 2)
they looked like football players and i was waiting to see if
one of the boys got himself wedged in the opening. they really were
squeezed into the space. the limo driver was beside my window.
i looked at him and he just looked resigned, i guess would be
the word. i felt bad for him. i KNOW he earned his pay last night.
ah, proms! they aren't like when i went!!!
are going to fund a scholarship in their name under
the umbrella of the committee i am a part of,
in addition to the kid's parties they give. we
are all so happy about that! the scholarships are given out
at the end of june and i can't wait. i enjoy meeting the winners
and their parents. s
Friday, May 12, 2006
my fellow pk'r! it was so grand to see you posting a poem again.
and the 2nd. i want to say how happy i was to get all of
the wonderful comments on my poem Goyathalay that
i sent in to the PK list and posted here. i got some
really nice feedback from them and in my blog and
blog e-mail. things like that keep me trying, keep
me smiling. thanks all! sherry
i can't get what they did out of my thoughts! like more than
a few people who commented, i too wonder if their parents
have those yellow "support the troops" magnets on their cars
and yet have raised their sons to do what they did to a homeless vietnam
vet! damn, i am angry. s
just ordered a new mattress and box springs for the guest room
about time, the old ones are about 30 years old or so.
going out tonight, ladies auxiliary bar bingo. no, i don't
play bingo, i cheer people on! it's for a good
cause, children's parties there. they have 3 a year for them. s
doesn't matter if you are republican or democrat
it doesn't matter. yes, it's a democratic site,
but this story affects everyone with a heart.
go to the site, scroll down to the post titled CHARMING
there you will read a story about senior boys at a school
in huntsville alabama, how for a SENIOR PRANK
they lured a homeless, mentally ill vietnam vet
with promises of food. they got him into the building
and yanked down his pants and took pictures and
they posted the pictures on the internet
and when confronted, they laughed. there is a
quote by the ringleader in the paper(you can read the paper's
article via shakespeare's sister)that is chilling and enraging.
so go, please, no matter what you support politically,
THIS is important. thanks, s
here is the site...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
one who yawns
"I was born on the prairies
where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun."
leader of a nation
"i was born where there were no enclosures."
enclosed at the end in
broken light and shackled winds
he escaped into the sky
into the light of the sun.
now it is rumored
the white man took even
the peace of the grave
his skull and bones
stolen like the land
kissed in secret by
thin lipped blue bloods
one who yawns
leader of a nation
yawns in their faces
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
spent a few hours making my bricks. i haven't
made any since last fall. i'm glad i only had enough concrete for a few.
i had forgotten how much bending and lifting was involved,
mostly in the clean up of the forms and tools. i feel as if i've
accomplished something tho! feels good. it's a different feeling
than finishing a poem. it's an art form using my hands
instead of my emotions. it satisfies me in a whole different way. s
Monday, May 08, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
what tarot card am i?
i am the magician
powerful and wise- beyond
what anyone can see.
deeply complex, have the resources to connect
to the spiritual and material world.
you possess the knowledge to manipulate your life
and lives around you.
and a great healing power, should i choose to use it.
i have unhidden powers that i have yet to
soon, i will better understand how to use my intellect and intuition.
believe it or not, i will dicover how to manipulate myself and
others for good.
i am at the begining of a path of spiritual enlightenment!
well, i do try to tweak the fates a bit. s
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Friday, May 05, 2006
got this off a chicken joke site, too tired to really hunt for one.
sort of adult too!
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden.He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normaly solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the groin and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the groin and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked as hard as he could in the balls.The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his testicles, howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." At, this the Scotsman said, "Aye Lad, maybe you should just keep the wee egg."
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
i hope that it makes it. my beautiful white one
didn't survive the winter. this one says it is a deep red.
oh i love roses. my favorites are dark red ones and pure white.
at my old house, there were red rose bushes that bloomed all
long all the way into sept. they were over 60 years old.
sold the house to a couple that said they adored the roses, so i felt
as if i were leaving my roses to people that loved them as much as i had,
almost as much as the lady that planted them all those years ago.
her son stopped by the house one day, told me his mother had planted
the roses those 60 odd years ago when he was a boy.
well, long story/short(as they say, ha!)
the couple that bought my house ripped up the bushes and
threw them away. i still hurt about that.
my grandfather came from a farm in calabria. he would go underneath
the local bridge here and collect pigeon manure and mix it with
dirt and rain water and let it ferment. somehow, he knew when it was "ready"
he used it on his roses and other plants and flowers. he also knew how, and did, graft a red rosebush into the center of a white one.
i guess that's why i love both colors so, tho
not as much, oh no, as i loved him.
in case you don't know, that's
john mcintire http://macyapper.com/
he not only mentioned me on his blog
but he put the link in to the e-zine i just had a poem published in!
god i just am so freaking happy he is back on the air. KDKA
i was listening to him last night. he had on 1 of the 2
give him a listen and a read. he's smart and funny and worth
getting to know. and no, i've never met him, just think he's
too much fun to let go to another town another station. he
SHOULD be a pittsburgher. s
i use you to
make myself bleed
you bandage the wound
after stitching it up with
big black X's
nothing fine that won't leave scars.
i use you
like a dull knife
dimpling my skin before penetration
you use me
a dirty bit of rag
pressed against an opened vein
a sepsis in your blood
we use each other
in a poor attempt at healing.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
it's 7 p.m. i hate for this day to end.
it's been an exceptional day, loved the beautiful
weather, for pittsburgh it's been amazing and
surprisingly blue and bright. the scent of lilacs
is coming through the window and i had another poem
published today. all in all, days like these are too few.
i'm grateful for this one, and for my little grand daughter! s
the 1st. time, enjoy. as you can see from this page,
my blog is more than poets and poetry. my blog
is me and i hope thru it, you will see how my poems are written
as well as those of my guests, by going to their sites and getting
to know them as well.
there is plenty of poetry and a lot more of me.
i'm tooting my own horn here!
i have a poem up and published on a new e-zine
called FOUR VOLTS http://fourvolts.co.uk/
i was pleased to have my poem excepted
and happy to see that the head of my poetry work group
dr. jim bennett has a poem there as well.
i had no idea he was even submitting one.
i heard of the e-zine through a friend of mine.
anyway, hope you'll check it out. (look to the left/current issue)
thanks much. ; )
i got this in my e-mail from my daily om.com
May 1, 2006Between Spring And SummerMay Day And BeltaneThroughout history, humankind has celebrated the transition from season to season. The festival of May Day takes place on May 1 at the halfway point between the beginning of spring and the start of summer and originated in ancient times as a celebration of fertility, life, sexuality, and nature's renewal. Still observed by many people today, May Day has many colorful and unique customs associated with it and is intimately bound to the Gaelic and pagan fire festival of Beltane. Both celebratory rites take place on the same day and are believed to have originated from the ancient Roman feast of Floralia, which honored Flora, the goddess of spring and flowers, as she returned to the earth to bring the fields back to life with her touch.Traditionally, May Day celebrations began on April 30, when men and women spent the whole night in the woods where they would dance and play games. On the morning of May 1, they would emerge carrying freshly budded green boughs and flowers that were in bloom. A tree was felled and resurrected as the May Pole around which young people would twine ribbons in the hope of becoming entwined with a new love. Houses were decorated with freshly cut foliage to attract the blessings of earth spirits that were said to walk the land on the first of May. A May King and May Queen were chosen to represent fertility gods and goddesses. Beltane, while also a festival of fertility and sensuality, remains primarily a festival of fire. The Beltane bonfire fire not only blesses the coming season, but also invites luck into one's life. Jumping over a Beltane fire, walking between two fires, or burning sacred wood and dried herbs in a fire guarantees an auspicious season. Often, people would put o!ut their fires and rekindle their hearth using a flame taken from the bonfire.Both May Day and Beltane can be observed to celebrate the return of passion and vitality that we feel as the weather grows warmer and the world grows greener. You can celebrate these festivals by decorating your home with flowers, blessing your garden, or filling baskets with fresh produce and giving them to loved ones. Each festival represents a wonderful opportunity to mark the end of winter's darkness and ruminate on what the light-filled days of the coming months may bring.
took the weekend off from my blog due
to some weekend events and meetings.
finished the guest edit job that i was honored
to be asked to do. had a meeting of the
scholarship committee i'm on, a surprise 60th birthday
party i said i'd go to, but mostly i just wasn't
up to writing on here because foolishly
i became embroiled in a political "debate"
(i use that term loosely, more of a snarky, nasty
cheap shot fest)on a favorite political blog i
funny, how people that use made up names
(and i know there are good reasons, i'm not debating that)
can say crude, childish things, about family members
that they aren't even sure one has. in this case, my daughter.
yes, there's americans,and partisan politics at their best.
i'm not really upset, just a bit disgusted at the level
some people will sink to because they can not stand to
discuss, it's win at all costs. they don't realize that whatever point
they might have legitimately had is negated by the nasty, crude
cheap shots. just my rant, s