a personal note.

odd, life is odd and full of strange connections.
death, is like that too.

my mother called me just now.
a girl, 17, a cousin, amy,
who i've never met has died.
amy battled brain cancer for 2 years.
bravely, i know, i've been hearing of her battle
for 2 years now in phone calls and fore warded e-mails from my mother.

i used to wonder "why" a lot more.
why her, not me.
i had my brain surgery(different type tumor)
in the mid 50's and survived against huge odds
and amy, in this time, so much better equipped, so advanced
and yet she's gone at 17, just as back in the 70's a girl
named judy that i had gone thru all 12 years of school
was gone one day, from the exact same tumor and location of mine.
why her, not me?

i do not know, but i still at times, feel a sort of guilt,
look for my purpose in life. wonder if i've made a difference for good or ill.

not sure.
why ask?

thanks for reading this.

safe passage amy. blessings on you and yours.