got this in a e-mail:




Subject: Rules of Rural Pennsylvania. Love It Or Leave It!!


1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.(me- YES, no matter where you are-you look like an idiot!)


2. TURN YOUR CAP RIGHT, YOUR HEAD ISN'T CROOKED.(me- nah, i've seem em wear em crooked in brookville)


3. LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT'S CALLED A 'DIRT ROAD.' NO MATTER HOW SLOW YOU DRIVE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET DUST ON YOUR LEXUS. DRIVE IT OR GET OUT OF THE WAY.(me-amen!)


4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY'RE LIVE STEAKS. THAT'S WHY THEY SMELL FUNNY TO YOU, GET OVER IT. DON'T LIKE IT? I-80 GOES EAST AND WEST, I-79 GOES NORTH AND SOUTH. PICK ONE.



5. SO YOU HAVE A $60,000 CAR. WE'RE IMPRESSED. WE HAVE $150,000 CORN PICKERS AND HAY BALERS THAT ARE DRIVEN ONLY 3 WEEKS A YEAR.


6. EVERY PERSON IN RURAL PENNSYLVANIA WAVES. WE THINK OF IT AS BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.(me-pittsburgers are friendlier! yeah, we are!)


7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE COMING IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE IT UP TO YOUR EAR AT THE TIME.(yeah, they will-better believe it!)


8. YEAH, WE EAT SCRAPPLE, POT PIE, FUNNEL CAKES, HALUSKIE AND MACARONI AND MILK. WE FRY OUR FISH AFTER 'CATCH'N 'EM'. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT'S AVAILABLE AT THE CORNER BAIT SHOP.


9. THE 'OPENER' REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. IT'S A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY HELD ON THE MONDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING.(me-also the bottle opener for beer. beer is also used as currency in many many places)


10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THAT IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN, REGARDLESS OF AGE.(me-and that doesn't bother me one bit-we also call EVERYONE hun, honey or sweetie )


11. NO, THERE'S NO 'VEGETARIAN SPECIAL' ON THE MENU. ORDER STEAK OR YOU CAN ORDER THE CHEF'S SALAD AND PICK OFF THE 2 POUNDS OF HAM & TURKEY.(me-this is true)


12. WHEN WE FILL OUT A TABLE, THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS (INCLUDES FISH), VEGETABLES, AND BREADS. WE USE FOUR SPICES: SALT, PEPPER, HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH...WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FOLKS IN JERSEY CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT...IT's NOT REAL CHILI!!!!


13. YOU BRING 'COKE' INTO MY HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND SERVED OVER ICE.(me-we won't discuss the heroin and meth problems, will we??!!)


14. YOU BRING 'MARY JANE' INTO MY HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW HOW TO SHOOT, AND HAVE LONG HAIR.
(me-that's what they say but...)

15. COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL IS AS IMPORTANT HERE AS THE THE STEELERS, AND JUST AS EXCITING TO WATCH.(me- no it isn't as important as the steelers-not quite anyway)


16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON'T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS---IT SPOOKS THE FISH.


17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES, COMMUNITY COLLEGES, AND VO-TECHS. THEY COME OUTTA THERE WITH AN EDUCATION PLUS A LOVE FOR GOD AND COUNTRY. THEY STILL WAVE AT EVERYBODY WHEN THEY COME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.(me-just can't find a job where they are from)


18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND MARINES SO DON'T MESS WITH US. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL GET WHIPPED BY THE BEST. (me-no, they are all in the military-theyre overseas right now!)


19. TURN DOWN THAT BLASTED CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP RAP IS NOT MUSIC, ANYWAY. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE THAN WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BOXERS. REFER BACK TO #1.(me- turn down your car and truck radios- i'm not big into country music either!)


20. 4 INCHES ISN'T A BLIZZARD, IT'S A FLURRY. DRIVE LIKE YOU GOT SOME SENSE, AND DON'T TAKE ALL OUR BREAD, MILK, AND TOILET PAPER FROM THE GROCERY STORES. YOUR'E NOT IN ALASKA . WORST CASE YOU MAY HAVE TO LIVE A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CROISSANTS. THE PICKUPS WITH SNOW PLOWS WILL HAVE YOU OUT THE NEXT DAY.


A TRUE PENNSYLVANIAN WILL PASS THIS ON