the poem below is the one reworked that i mentioned.
there were only a few changes but they made all the difference.

this is the original:


crying over spilt milk


at 20 my skin was smooth and tempting
like sweet cream poured into a saucer
waiting to be lapped up by a pink tongue.

but now faded lines like the memories of
lightning strikes or the prick of sharpened claws
trace regrets across the years

the saucer overturned and chipped
the cream long since curdled.


the reworked version is so much the better of the two
see if you can spot the changes and IF you agree.
your input is always welcomed. thanks, sherry