Wednesday, December 31, 2008

have a happy and safe new year's eve and a kinder, love filled new year!

surprise! oh my.

usually now, i buy hanes bras or the like. but i splurged and bought a victoria's secret "gel curve" from their semi-annual sale catalogue. i never expected it to get here this soon, so, TAH DAH! i've got it to wear under my dress tonight! ha!

it looks good babies! and no one will be the wiser except me, and everyone that reads this! ho ho!

i also decided to get my fingernails done. i haven't had fake nails for YEARS but my health and the fact that i work a lot with my hands, well, they looked just awful and they tend to split vertically which is painful. i spent more money and time trying to keep them from splinting than i would on fakes. i just have to get used to doing all that i do with them now. i didn't get them long. i'd NEVER be able to function with long nails AND i'd probably IMPALE myself or one of the pets or fates forbid, my little sweetie so they aren't long. they just look well groomed. don't know for how long they will look good, but for now, for tonight,

i'm happy! even if the weather gets worse and i stay home, damn, i'll look good! ; )
the snow is like tiny sharp grains of sand. no real accumulation but they sting and the wind is enough to scare max from doing what he should when i take him out!

well, the car seems to be o.k.

the wind is still howling AND it looks as if the surveyors
for the sewer line "miscalculated" and marked wrong so now i may end up having lost oaks that i needn't have AND now lose the oaks and dogwoods that they SHOULD have taken! FUCK!!!!
i think i may end up in oz! the temps are plummeting and the wind is fierce.

the wind chill for tonight is 10 or 15 below! it figures!!!

stuff is blown all over the place out there including the canvas car port thingy.

i have no idea what the roof of my car looks like and i'm not going to try looking yet!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

candy some friends gave me from san antonio.

these things are HUGE and they will knock you on the floor they are
really good!

but i still like chocolate better.

thanks, bruce and carol!!!!
Let It Enfold You

by Charles Bukowski

either peace or happiness,
let it enfold you

when i was a young man
I felt these things were
I had bad blood,a twisted
mind, a precarious

I was hard as granite,I
leered at the
I trusted no man and
especially no

I was living a hell in
small rooms, I broke
things, smashed things,
walked through glass,
I challenged everything,
was continually being
evicted,jailed,in and
out of fights,in and out
of my mind.
women were something
to screw and rail
at,i had no male

I changed jobs and
cities,I hated holidays,
newspapers, museums,
marriage, movies,
spiders, garbage men,
english accents,spain,
france,italy,walnuts and
the color
algebra angered me,
opera sickened me,
charlie chaplin was a
and flowers were for

peace an happiness to me
were signs of
tenants of the weak

but as I went on with
my alley fights,
my suicidal years,
my passage through
any number of
women-it gradually
began to occur to
that I wasn't different

from the
others, I was the same,

they were all fulsome
with hatred,
glossed over with petty
the men I fought in
alleys had hearts of stone.
everybody was nudging,
inching, cheating for
some insignificant
the lie was the
weapon and the
plot was
darkness was the

cautiously, I allowed
myself to feel good
at times.
I found moments of
peace in cheap
just staring at the
knobs of some
or listening to the
rain in the
the less i needed
the better i

maybe the other life had worn me
I no longer found
in topping somebody
in conversation.
or in mounting the
body of some poor
drunken female
whose life had
slipped away into

I could never accept
life as it was,
i could never gobble
down all its
but there were parts,
tenuous magic parts
open for the

I re formulated
I don't know when,
but the change
something in me
relaxed, smoothed
i no longer had to
prove that i was a

I didn't have to prove

I began to see things:
coffee cups lined up
behind a counter in a
or a dog walking along
a sidewalk.
or the way the mouse
on my dresser top
stopped there
with its body,
its ears,
its nose,
it was fixed,
a bit of life
caught within itself
and its eyes looked
at me
and they were
then- it was

I began to feel good,
I began to feel good
in the worst situations
and there were plenty
of those.
like say, the boss
behind his desk,
he is going to have
to fire me.

I've missed too many
he is dressed in a
suit, necktie, glasses,
he says, "i am going
to have to let you go"

"it's all right" i tell

He must do what he
must do, he has a
wife, a house, children.
expenses, most probably
a girlfriend.

I am sorry for him
he is caught.

I walk onto the blazing
the whole day is

(the whole world is at the
throat of the world,
everybody feels angry,
short-changed, cheated,
everybody is despondent,

I welcomed shots of
peace, tattered shards of

I embraced that stuff
like the hottest number,
like high heels,breasts,

(don't get me wrong,
there is such a thing as cockeyed optimism
that overlooks all
basic problems just for
the sake of
this is a shield and a

The knife got near my
throat again,
I almost turned on the
but when the good
moments arrived
I didn't fight them off
like an alley
I let them take me,
i luxuriated in them,
I bade them welcome
I even looked into
the mirror
once having thought
myself to be
I now liked what
I saw,almost
a bit ripped and
odd turns,
but all in all,
not too bad,
almost handsome,
better at least than
some of those movie
star faces
like the cheeks of
a baby's

and finally I discovered
real feelings for
like lately,
like this morning,
as I was leaving,
for the track,
i saw my wife in bed,
just the
shape of
her head there
(not forgetting
centuries of the living
and the dead and
the dying,
the pyramids,
Mozart dead
but his music still
there in the
room, weeds growing,
the earth turning,
the tote board waiting for
I saw the shape of my
wife's head,
she so still,
i ached for her life,
just being there
under the

i kissed her in the,
got down the stairway,
got outside,
got into my marvelous
fixed the seat belt,
backed out the
feeling warm to
the fingertips,
down to my
foot on the gas
I entered the world
drove down the
past the houses
full and empty
i saw the mailman,
he waved
at me.

me-he could be and often was, detestable, but damn he could write!

he's been on my mind lately.

"Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way."

"I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life."

"It's possible to love a human being if you don't know them too well."

"Joan of Arc had style. Jesus had style."

"Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement."

"Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities."

hot beef veggie soup with little oyster crackers floating on top.
yeah, canned soup but i'm trying to head off this darn "whatever it is" that everyone seems to be getting.

can't hurt!

too cool! i've lost count of the countries, but it's kinda neat doncha think????

Newest Flag

Visited December 30, 2008
from the quaker agitator, bless him!

his addy is at the bottom. go see o.k?

On January 20, 2009, President-elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as our next president. Many of us look forward to this day as a moment of new hope, new direction, and positive change.

Unfortunately, many of us also view this day with mixed feelings. Many Americans are upset with Barack Obama’s decision to have controversial conservative minister Rick Warren deliver the invocation for the inaugural ceremony.

Over the years, Mr. Warren has supported the idea of criminalizing reproductive choice, he has advocated for the assassination of foreign leaders who oppose the policy positions of the American government, and most recently, he gave support to California’s controversial Proposition 8, which outlawed marriage equality for gay and lesbian citizens of that state. He has, in the past, compared gay marriage to incest, child abuse, polygamy, and rape.

As an act of protest against the appearance of Rick Warren at the inauguration, we ask our fellow progressive bloggers that on January 20, 2009, you post your own alternative invocation.

We ask that you post a message of compassion, empathy, tolerance, diversity, and true Christian (or other) love to America. Post a message that stands in opposition to the messages that Rick Warren and those of his particular political persuasion use to divide our country.

If you’re posting, let us know! Visit the home of The Alternative Invocation. Send an email or leave a comment, and we’ll add you to the list which will be on our blogroll.

And please spread the word.

Thanks for your support.


- QuakerDave

i'll be posting!

the pagan sphinx was sweet to me and gave me a

TREE OF HAPPINESS award. i love the name of this!

i'm supposed to name 6 things that make me happy. three of them things that most people wouldn't know about me. geeezzz, here goes:

1. my grand daughter
2. my family, most of them. pets and all wildlife, except the coyotes in the back. they worry me., almost all kinds of music. music is like food. what i have a craving for at the moment. poetry, all poetry except the pretentious. that goes for all art too!
6.oh, THAT one is a little dusty dark corner of me. no i'll just say, chocolate instead.

thanks P!
funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals
you tell 'em rachel!

been thinking about the coming year. what should i try to improve in myself? what resolutions?

been remembering all the past new year's eves. been remembering how those years ended.

this coming year is a year mighty with grief in the world and bright with hope for some of it.

all these hopes and sorrows in each and every heart
the weight must surely tilt this world in it's orbit.
well, still fairly warm after a cold night. tomorrow, phooey! cold and some snow. figures.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Clenched Soul

by Pablo Neruda

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.
peter yarrow via huffington :

The sending of a Christmas greeting by Chip Saltsman to the members of the Republican National Committee that includes a recording of the so-called parody, "Barack the Magic Negro" is not only offensive, it is shocking and saddening in the extreme. It flies in the face of America's deeply held hope for a new era in which common ground and mutual respect characterize the exchanges between our national leaders.

I and my co-writer of "Puff," Lenny Lipton, have been eagerly awaiting an end to the mean-spiritedness, outright disrespect and bigotry that was commonplace prior to this last presidential election. What might have been wearily accepted as "the way it was" in the campaign, is now unacceptable. Obama is not a candidate. He is the President-Elect, and this song insults the office of the Presidency, the people who voted for him, as well as those who did not -- and taking a children's song and twisting it in such vulgar, mean-spirited way, is a slur to our entire country and our common agreement to move beyond racism.

It is almost unimaginable to me that Chip Saltzman who sent the CD, would seriously be considered for the top post of the Republican National Committee. Puff, himself, if asked, would certainly agree.

me- if i had written a song that was then used and abused like his was i would be livid!

WARNING there are some chilling photos on the wapo site.

"This is the practice of the Kurdish people for as long as anyone can remember. We don't know why we do it, but we will never stop because Islam and our elders require it."

female circumcision!

tell me again what the hell we are doing there!!??

when will we learn that not everyone in the entire world
wants or is ready for western ideas and ideals.

EVERY TIME i read of this awful hideous crap i get furious!

if you are an adult i don't care what you believe you must do to your own body but when you joyfully mutilate a child or refuse them a blood transfusion or vaccines (as some do right here in our country)well then, i have little empathy or compassion
cold but sunny!

i wrote down my book ideas.
things have a tendency to slip my mind.
some come back. some are lost if i don't write things down.
age, brain surgery a few concussions and
bad medication have taken their toll so it's
pads of paper and pencils in every room!!!
a new day. got up early and watched the dawn.
the workmen have their equipment way down at the end of the street behind this.
i hope they are digging the ditches!!!!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

you ever start out planning on doing something 1 way. planned on it for years and then, BLAMMO, you get an idea and scrap the first?

i have been working on a poetry book for years now. i had the whole thing worked out except for some placements of certain pieces and then i just got this weird vibe that i really should change the theme and go for a completely different book.

to write some companion pieces to some that i've had for years because these "people" want to "become."

at first i thought i was, yet again, stalling on purpose. afraid of the rejections.(i always hate those. i understand them but it doesn't stop me from agonizing over them)

but, nope, this is something that wants doing and so...

bad, bad me! instead of watching the steeler's i've been indulging myself by watching SNBC and jewelry!!!

GASP, yes, i KNOW! but i just can't help myself.

hee hee hee!

(tho, i DID give max a bath!)

me- it would be great if anyone could donate even a teeny amount. it all helps.



Greetings to all the NF community!

It is my privilege, as the new Executive Director of Neurofibromatosis – Mid-Atlantic, to be able to celebrate this season with you and extend wishes for a wonderful 2009.

It is my resolution for the New Year to have an opportunity to meet as many of you as possible and hear directly from you how NF-Mid-Atlantic can help serve you in the next year.

I don’t believe that I can remember a more dramatic or challenging time.
All of you know the financial stresses that exist right now throughout the world. People are struggling. This effort is particularly trenchant and pointed when a family or individual is dealing with NF. It is the rare group or person who understands the effects of Neurofibromatosis if they’re not living with it everyday as someone with NF, or as a loved one.

Now, more than ever, there is urgency to have a multi-faceted plan to raise awareness about NF: for sensitivity, for acceptance, for research, and ultimately for a cure!

That said there is much to be excited about at NF Mid-Atlantic this upcoming year. We have plans underway, for instance, for a far-reaching public awareness campaign that encompasses a ‘new look’; new communication strategies to reach our community; and winning friends in the non-NF community.

Finally, this is not a commercial for funding, I assure you, but if you haven’t taken the opportunity to include NF Mid-Atlantic in your end-of-year contributions, the time has come. You know it’s important.

Thank you for this opportunity to “talk with you”. I would love to hear from you and would welcome an email or chat. Our phone number is 866-261-1271, and my email is:

Best to you and the happiest of holidays from all of us at NF Mid-Atlantic!

Barbra Levin,
Executive Director

got if from cr. enjoy. i do!
GOP Chairman Blasts Obama Parody


- The chairman of the Republican National Committee said Saturday he was "shocked and appalled" that one of his potential successors had sent committee members a CD this Christmas featuring a 2007 parody song called "Barack the Magic Negro."
In spite of RNC Chairman Robert M. "Mike" Duncan's sharply negative reaction, former Tennessee GOP leader Chip Saltsman said that party leaders should stand up to criticism over distributing a CD with the song. He earlier defended the tune as one of several "lighthearted political parodies" that have aired on Rush Limbaugh's radio show.

sunday, grey and 65 degrees! 50 mph wind gusts. weird!!!!

tonight the temps start to tank.
bizarre all across the country.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

been a pretty quiet day.
not much doing except taking max out a lot because it was 66 freaking degrees out and max was confused and wanting to play in the mud!

watched a lot of t.v. the smithsonian channel is new to me and it is really good. i watched some science channel too.

a lot of the family and friends have or are just getting over nasty chest colds and i'm hoping i stay o.k. til after new year's eve. i want to get dressed up!
Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures
Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

couldn't blame him could we?

By Joby Warrick
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, December 26, 2008; Page A01

The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.

Four blue pills. Viagra.

"Take one of these. You'll love it," the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.

The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes -- followed by a request for more pills.

For U.S. intelligence officials, this is how some crucial battles in Afghanistan are fought and won. While the CIA has a long history of buying information with cash, the growing Taliban insurgency has prompted the use of novel incentives and creative bargaining to gain support in some of the country's roughest neighborhoods, according to officials directly involved in such operations.

In their efforts to win over notoriously fickle warlords and chieftains, the officials say, the agency's operatives have used a variety of personal services. These include pocketknives and tools, medicine or surgeries for ailing family members, toys and school equipment, tooth extractions, travel visas, and, occasionally, pharmaceutical enhancements for aging patriarchs with slumping libidos, the officials said.

"Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people -- whether it's building a school or handing out Viagra," said one longtime agency operative and veteran of several Afghanistan tours. Like other field officers interviewed for this article, he spoke on the condition of anonymity when describing tactics and operations that are largely classified.

Officials say these inducements are necessary in Afghanistan, a country where warlords and tribal leaders expect to be paid for their cooperation, and where, for some, switching sides can be as easy as changing tunics. If the Americans don't offer incentives, there are others who will, including Taliban commanders, drug dealers and even Iranian agents in the region.

The usual bribes of choice -- cash and weapons -- aren't always the best options, Afghanistan veterans say. Guns too often fall into the wrong hands, they say, and showy gifts such as money, jewelry and cars tend to draw unwanted attention.

"If you give an asset $1,000, he'll go out and buy the shiniest junk he can find, and it will be apparent that he has suddenly come into a lot of money from someone," said Jamie Smith, a veteran of CIA covert operations in Afghanistan and now chief executive of SCG International, a private security and intelligence company. "Even if he doesn't get killed, he becomes ineffective as an informant because everyone knows where he got it."

The key, Smith said, is to find a way to meet the informant's personal needs in a way that keeps him firmly on your side but leaves little or no visible trace.

"You're trying to bridge a gap between people living in the 18th century and people coming in from the 21st century," Smith said, "so you look for those common things in the form of material aid that motivate people everywhere." ...
warm and the yard is like walking on a sponge.

a pretty dull day planned and that's fine by me.

Friday, December 26, 2008

warm and pouring rain. in the high 60's tomorrow. goofy weather!
funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more puppies

i had to post this cause this little grinch is a puggle like max!

at spork's.

she was a woman, amazing and unique!

Kwanzaa, the African American holiday that lasts from December 26 to January 1, is defined by seven principles that promote community, family, and unity . It's tradition to give loved ones homemade presents that relate to these principles, but how about giving gifts to strangers in need this year? Get into the Kwanzaa spirit by donating money or time to charities and foundations that correspond to each of the holiday's principles
Song of the Open Road. by Walt Whitman
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune—I myself am good fortune;
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Strong and content, I travel the open road.

The earth—that is sufficient;
I do not want the constellations any nearer;
I know they are very well where they are;
I know they suffice for those who belong to them.

(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens;
I carry them, men and women—I carry them with me wherever I go;
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them;
I am fill’d with them, and I will fill them in return.)

You road I enter upon and look around! I believe you are not all that is here;
I believe that much unseen is also here.

Here the profound lesson of reception, neither preference or denial;
The black with his woolly head, the felon, the diseas’d, the illiterate person, are not

The birth, the hasting after the physician, the beggar’s tramp, the drunkard’s stagger,
laughing party of mechanics,
The escaped youth, the rich person’s carriage, the fop, the eloping couple,
The early market-man, the hearse, the moving of furniture into the town, the return back
They pass—I also pass—anything passes—none can be interdicted;
None but are accepted—none but are dear to me.

You air that serves me with breath to speak!
You objects that call from diffusion my meanings, and give them shape!
You light that wraps me and all things in delicate equable showers!
You paths worn in the irregular hollows by the roadsides!
I think you are latent with unseen existences—you are so dear to me.

You flagg’d walks of the cities! you strong curbs at the edges!
You ferries! you planks and posts of wharves! you timber-lined sides! you distant ships!
You rows of houses! you window-pierc’d façades! you roofs!
You porches and entrances! you copings and iron guards!
You windows whose transparent shells might expose so much!
You doors and ascending steps! you arches!
You gray stones of interminable pavements! you trodden crossings!
From all that has been near you, I believe you have imparted to yourselves, and now would
impart the
same secretly to me;
From the living and the dead I think you have peopled your impassive surfaces, and the
thereof would be evident and amicable with me.

The earth expanding right hand and left hand,
The picture alive, every part in its best light,
The music falling in where it is wanted, and stopping where it is not wanted,
The cheerful voice of the public road—the gay fresh sentiment of the road.

O highway I travel! O public road! do you say to me, Do not leave me?
Do you say, Venture not? If you leave me, you are lost?
Do you say, I am already prepared—I am well-beaten and undenied—adhere to me?

O public road! I say back, I am not afraid to leave you—yet I love you;
You express me better than I can express myself;
You shall be more to me than my poem.

I think heroic deeds were all conceiv’d in the open air, and all great poems also;
I think I could stop here myself, and do miracles;
(My judgments, thoughts, I henceforth try by the open air, the road;)
I think whatever I shall meet on the road I shall like, and whoever beholds me shall like
I think whoever I see must be happy.

From this hour, freedom!
From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute,
Listening to others, and considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.

I inhale great draughts of space;
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.

All seems beautiful to me;
I can repeat over to men and women, You have done such good to me, I would do the same to

I will recruit for myself and you as I go;
I will scatter myself among men and women as I go;
I will toss the new gladness and roughness among them;
Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me;
Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me.

Now if a thousand perfect men were to appear, it would not amaze me;
Now if a thousand beautiful forms of women appear’d, it would not astonish me.

Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air, and to eat and sleep with the earth.

Here a great personal deed has room;
A great deed seizes upon the hearts of the whole race of men,
Its effusion of strength and will overwhelms law, and mocks all authority and all argument

Here is the test of wisdom;
Wisdom is not finally tested in schools;
Wisdom cannot be pass’d from one having it, to another not having it;
Wisdom is of the Soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof,
Applies to all stages and objects and qualities, and is content,
Is the certainty of the reality and immortality of things, and the excellence of things;
Something there is in the float of the sight of things that provokes it out of the Soul.

Now I reëxamine philosophies and religions,
They may prove well in lecture-rooms, yet not prove at all under the spacious clouds, and
landscape and flowing currents.

Here is realization;
Here is a man tallied—he realizes here what he has in him;
The past, the future, majesty, love—if they are vacant of you, you are vacant of them.

Only the kernel of every object nourishes;
Where is he who tears off the husks for you and me?
Where is he that undoes stratagems and envelopes for you and me?

Here is adhesiveness—it is not previously fashion’d—it is apropos;
Do you know what it is, as you pass, to be loved by strangers?
Do you know the talk of those turning eye-balls?

Here is the efflux of the Soul;
The efflux of the Soul comes from within, through embower’d gates, ever provoking
These yearnings, why are they? These thoughts in the darkness, why are they?
Why are there men and women that while they are nigh me, the sun-light expands my blood?
Why, when they leave me, do my pennants of joy sink flat and lank?
Why are there trees I never walk under, but large and melodious thoughts descend upon me?
(I think they hang there winter and summer on those trees, and always drop fruit as I
What is it I interchange so suddenly with strangers?
What with some driver, as I ride on the seat by his side?
What with some fisherman, drawing his seine by the shore, as I walk by, and pause?
What gives me to be free to a woman’s or man’s good-will? What gives them to be free to

The efflux of the Soul is happiness—here is happiness;
I think it pervades the open air, waiting at all times;
Now it flows unto us—we are rightly charged.

Here rises the fluid and attaching character;
The fluid and attaching character is the freshness and sweetness of man and woman;
(The herbs of the morning sprout no fresher and sweeter every day out of the roots of
than it sprouts fresh and sweet continually out of itself.)

Toward the fluid and attaching character exudes the sweat of the love of young and old;
From it falls distill’d the charm that mocks beauty and attainments;
Toward it heaves the shuddering longing ache of contact.

Allons! whoever you are, come travel with me!
Traveling with me, you find what never tires.

The earth never tires;
The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first—Nature is rude and incomprehensible

Be not discouraged—keep on—there are divine things, well envelop’d;
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell.

Allons! we must not stop here!
However sweet these laid-up stores—however convenient this dwelling, we cannot remain
However shelter’d this port, and however calm these waters, we must not anchor here;
However welcome the hospitality that surrounds us, we are permitted to receive it but a

Allons! the inducements shall be greater;
We will sail pathless and wild seas;
We will go where winds blow, waves dash, and the Yankee clipper speeds by under full sail.

Allons! with power, liberty, the earth, the elements!
Health, defiance, gayety, self-esteem, curiosity;
Allons! from all formules!
From your formules, O bat-eyed and materialistic priests!

The stale cadaver blocks up the passage—the burial waits no longer.

Allons! yet take warning!
He traveling with me needs the best blood, thews, endurance;
None may come to the trial, till he or she bring courage and health.

Come not here if you have already spent the best of yourself;
Only those may come, who come in sweet and determin’d bodies;
No diseas’d person—no rum-drinker or venereal taint is permitted here.

I and mine do not convince by arguments, similes, rhymes;
We convince by our presence.

Listen! I will be honest with you;
I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes;
These are the days that must happen to you:

You shall not heap up what is call’d riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve,
You but arrive at the city to which you were destin’d—you hardly settle yourself to
satisfaction, before you are call’d by an irresistible call to depart,
You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those who remain behind you;
What beckonings of love you receive, you shall only answer with passionate kisses of
You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach’d hands toward you.

Allons! after the GREAT COMPANIONS! and to belong to them!
They too are on the road! they are the swift and majestic men; they are the greatest
Over that which hinder’d them—over that which retarded—passing impediments large or small,

Committers of crimes, committers of many beautiful virtues,
Enjoyers of calms of seas, and storms of seas,
Sailors of many a ship, walkers of many a mile of land,
Habitués of many distant countries, habitués of far-distant dwellings,
Trusters of men and women, observers of cities, solitary toilers,
Pausers and contemplators of tufts, blossoms, shells of the shore,
Dancers at wedding-dances, kissers of brides, tender helpers of children, bearers of

Soldiers of revolts, standers by gaping graves, lowerers down of coffins,
Journeyers over consecutive seasons, over the years—the curious years, each emerging from
which preceded it,
Journeyers as with companions, namely, their own diverse phases,
Forth-steppers from the latent unrealized baby-days,
Journeyers gayly with their own youth—Journeyers with their bearded and well-grain’d
Journeyers with their womanhood, ample, unsurpass’d, content,
Journeyers with their own sublime old age of manhood or womanhood,
Old age, calm, expanded, broad with the haughty breadth of the universe,
Old age, flowing free with the delicious near-by freedom of death.

Allons! to that which is endless, as it was beginningless,
To undergo much, tramps of days, rests of nights,
To merge all in the travel they tend to, and the days and nights they tend to,
Again to merge them in the start of superior journeys;
To see nothing anywhere but what you may reach it and pass it,
To conceive no time, however distant, but what you may reach it and pass it,
To look up or down no road but it stretches and waits for you—however long, but it
waits for you;
To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or
the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;
To take the best of the farmer’s farm and the rich man’s elegant villa, and the chaste
of the well-married couple, and the fruits of orchards and flowers of gardens,
To take to your use out of the compact cities as you pass through,
To carry buildings and streets with you afterward wherever you go,
To gather the minds of men out of their brains as you encounter them—to gather the love
out of
their hearts,
To take your lovers on the road with you, for all that you leave them behind you,
To know the universe itself as a road—as many roads—as roads for traveling souls.

The Soul travels;
The body does not travel as much as the soul;
The body has just as great a work as the soul, and parts away at last for the journeys of

All parts away for the progress of souls;
All religion, all solid things, arts, governments,—all that was or is apparent upon this
any globe, falls into niches and corners before the procession of Souls along the grand

Of the progress of the souls of men and women along the grand roads of the universe, all
progress is the needed emblem and sustenance.

Forever alive, forever forward,
Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble, dissatisfied,
Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men,
They go! they go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go;
But I know that they go toward the best—toward something great.

Allons! whoever you are! come forth!
You must not stay sleeping and dallying there in the house, though you built it, or though
been built for you.

Allons! out of the dark confinement!
It is useless to protest—I know all, and expose it.

Behold, through you as bad as the rest,
Through the laughter, dancing, dining, supping, of people,
Inside of dresses and ornaments, inside of those wash’d and trimm’d faces,
Behold a secret silent loathing and despair.

No husband, no wife, no friend, trusted to hear the confession;
Another self, a duplicate of every one, skulking and hiding it goes,
Formless and wordless through the streets of the cities, polite and bland in the parlors,
In the cars of rail-roads, in steamboats, in the public assembly,
Home to the houses of men and women, at the table, in the bed-room, everywhere,
Smartly attired, countenance smiling, form upright, death under the breast-bones, hell
Under the broadcloth and gloves, under the ribbons and artificial flowers,
Keeping fair with the customs, speaking not a syllable of itself,
Speaking of anything else, but never of itself.

Allons! through struggles and wars!
The goal that was named cannot be countermanded.

Have the past struggles succeeded?
What has succeeded? yourself? your nation? nature?
Now understand me well—It is provided in the essence of things, that from any fruition of
no matter what, shall come forth something to make a greater struggle necessary.

My call is the call of battle—I nourish active rebellion;
He going with me must go well arm’d;
He going with me goes often with spare diet, poverty, angry enemies, desertions.

Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe—I have tried it—my own feet have tried it well.

Allons! be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge

Mon enfant! I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
no joke today. my little sweetie's come to play!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

worth enjoying again!!!!
oh i almost forgot. i got a cd of chinese taoist music by the taoist orchestra of the shanghai city god temple!!!!

yes, that IS godzilla. godzilla vs mothra to be exact. one of the xmas movies we watched (had on in the background)at my daughter's and son-in-law's! i am a big godzilla fan and my little sweetie is begining to be one too. of course we also had all the ones like frosty too.

max got toys this morning as did layla and bob and my niece and nephew even bought a gift for my squirrels!!!!

my granddaughter had a wonderful xmas eve. at 4, she's into it big time! mom had fun. she stayed awake too! i got a robe and a bottle of perfume and a book and the recordings of studs turkels interviews with folk over the years and keith olberman's book and some cash which always comes in handy and a beautiful figurine! i love Amazon wish lists!!!!

now, i am trying to work up enough energy to get a shower.

i am very glad that it's over with. today i don't have to do anything!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

6 o'clock and so dark out. i'm going to put on my jammies and get my blankie and veg out in front of the t.v.
tired, but happy that most of the work is done with.
so, now i'm just trying to think if everything really is in order.

i hope so. i want the holidays to be good for everyone.
me? i'm sort of a grinch i suppose. a grinch when it comes to enjoying them myself.

it does make me feel good when i know i've helped someone else have fun.
i've sent in my holiday checks to my favorite orgs. that makes me happy.

seeing my little sweetie believing in santa and his magic makes me smile.

i just wish i knew how to be happy. maybe i am and i just don't realize it?
not sure, but, what is, is.

yes, my birthday is coming in a few weeks and i'm already excited!

cake, oh there WILL be cake!

December 21: Sun enters Capricorn

As the Sun leaves nomadic Sagittarius and enters practical Capricorn, put your passport away and park your car in the garage, The Sun's entrance into Capricorn marks the Winter Solstice -- a perfect day to count your blessings as you reflect upon the past and make plans for your future. Just like the mountain goat, Capricorn's ambitious animal symbol, it's time for you to aim high and use the practicality and cardinal initiative of this earth sign to achieve your goals.

While you are thinking about your goals and what you would like to accomplish in the year ahead, some of you may be thinking about finding a new job. Others may be curious to see if your current career is a good match for your temperament. Whether you are climbing a mountain or the ladder of success, life is more interesting and fun when you love your job! Check out our free sample Career Path Reading for insights into what kind of work would be a good match for your personality.

Everybody has a destiny. Have you ever wondered about your life purpose? Do you question some of your choices? With a new year just around the corner, see if you are on the right track with a free One-Week Destiny and Decisions Forecast. As they say, life is short! Make sure you're headed the right direction!

Saturn is the planet of authority, and it rules Capricorn. Anyone who has been an authority figure in your life has substantially influenced you. Those who raised you are at the top of this list, while teachers and bosses also come under the Saturn/Capricorn rays. Find out how your parents or guardians have helped shape you into the person you are today with a free sample Parental Influence Reading.

Responsible, hard-working and outspoken Jim Carrey, born January 17, 1962 in Newmarket, Canada, is a perfect representative of this ambitious sign. Best known for his comedic genius, Carrey is also an award-winning actor. He came from humble beginnings yet never let that stop him from achieving his dreams. These days, he has Scorpio Jenny McCarthy at his side. With a successful career and relationship, it looks like Jim has reached the top of the Capricorn mountain! Happy Birthday, Jim! You deserve every happiness and we hope the year ahead is wonderful in every way. Find out more about this brilliant comedian and other Capricorn cuties in our Celebrity Section. Then, dive even deeper into the lives of Hollywood's hottest in StarStories. See how the movement of the planets affects famous folks. It's a great way to learn astrology -- and to gain insight on the passionate lives of legends!

Why is it that you get along with some of your coworkers, while others get on your last shredded nerve? Whether you need to work together on an important project, or you feel like you're getting a weird vibe from a cubicle mate, this astrological take on Coworker Compatibility will give you just the information you need!

It's that time of year again -- time to shop for others! Did you know that you have your own style when it comes to choosing gifts? We all know it can be tempting to buy people what you would love to receive instead of getting what they'd want. Check out our Planetary Presents quiz to see if you agree with how we think you shop. Then use it to buy the perfect gift for those you love. Shopping is so much easier when you shop by Sun sign!

Don't let the New Year start without making a list of resolutions! This is your opportunity to think ahead and plan well. Our Sun Sign Astrological Resolutions will give you plenty of ideas that are just right for your Sun sign. Plus, check out others' signs to help them make a few of their own!

Keep reading for your Starcast, which will take you through the month's astrological events and prepare you for all the interesting pathways and byways ahead. And be sure to check out this month's Astrolesson: Saturn: The Grownup Planet.

Happy Birthday to all you Capricorns! Your awesome discipline and willingness to step up to the plate and take responsibility is a quality many people in this world could use a little more of! Let a Capricorn in your life know how much you appreciate them -- send your favorite Mountain goat a free astrological e-card!

And since gifts are the order of the day, be sure to treat your loved ones -- and yourself -- to the empowering wisdom of the Astro12 DVD series! Learn all about your Sun sign and how it relates to other forms of divination, all while viewing breathtaking images of our precious planet.


** All about Capricorn

Every sign has a 'patron planet.' Yours, dear Capricorn, happens to be Saturn -- Mr. No-Nonsense himself -- and this is a great place to start explaining the nature of your sign. Astronomers and amateur stargazers find those rings surrounding that beautiful planet simultaneously fascinating and lovely, but the colorful circles are also an appropriate symbol of one of the things Saturn holds dear: boundaries. And as Saturn's favorite sign, you've definitely learned the value of keeping your boundaries intact. After all, without self-discipline, order, rules and regulations, where would we be?

You've also been given a love of structure, a respect for experience and a great big dose of common sense. You only take calculated risks, and you can be the very soul of caution. In fact, if you're not careful, you can end up a bit too pessimistic. This, however, (as anyone who knows you well can testify) absolutely doesn't mean that you don't know how to have fun. While your wit is dry and your humor is the exact opposite of slapstick, your sarcasm is unbeatable. What really makes you laugh, though, is intelligent humor -- the odder and quirkier the better.

You deal with relationships much the same way you handle shopping. Your first step is to see what's out there by doing some observation and comparison. You won't settle for anything less than exactly what you want, and once you have it, you tend to those you love much the same as you treat your most treasured items: You spoil them, pamper them and do absolutely everything you can to make things last. The lucky person who ends up in a permanent relationship with you can rest assured that there's absolutely nothing you won't do to keep that relationship thriving, especially as the years go by and you invest more and more time into each other.
Don't know about the people

by Kobayashi Issa

Approaching my village:

Don't know about the people,
but all the scarecrows
are crooked.

the tomato sauce is cooking,needed 2 pots!

the honey cookies are done. the presents are wrapped.

all i have to do now is clean up the mess and make the squid and the baccala and fry the smelts tomorrow. i hate fish!
well, i have 1 more cookie to make this morning. the italian braided fried honey cookies, skolidi. then i have to start on the tomato sauces for xmas eve.

tomorrow SQUID and baccala and then merry mayhem to be had.

Monday, December 22, 2008

i just had to post this!

thanks gd!!!!

it's STILL freezing around here so you can guess where bob is at. heat hog!

max in my antler's. took 2 of us to get the picture. he wasn't happy at all.
i swear tho, if you put a sawed off antler on his head he'd look just like the grinch's dog max!


Newest Flag

Macedonia, the Former Yugoslav Republic of
Visited December 21, 2008

(notice how little max USED to be!)
funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

layla agrees. bob, doesn't much care as long as he's warm and max? well max couldn't care less as long as there are snacks to be had!
don't forget, there's music at the bottom of the blog!

everything goes better with a little music.

happy happy to ellie and mitch and mike, rachael jack and lily!

by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

THIS box, mine own sweet darling, thou wilt find

With many a varied sweetmeat's form supplied;

The fruits are they of holy Christmas tide,
But baked indeed, for children's use design'd.

I'd fain, in speeches sweet with skill combin'd,

Poetic sweetmeats for the feast provide;

But why in such frivolities confide?
Perish the thought, with flattery to blind!

One sweet thing there is still, that from within,

Within us speaks,--that may be felt afar;

This may be wafted o'er to thee alone.

If thou a recollection fond canst win,

As if with pleasure gleam'd each well-known star,

The smallest gift thou never wilt disown.


here's the fudge recipe. it is very VERY rich so take that into consideration.

chocolate cheese fudge

1/2lb. velveeta cheese cubed or sliced
1 cup( 2 sticks)butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup nuts(optional)
2 16 oz. packages of confectioner's sugar
1/2 cup cocoa (i use the double dutch dark)

lightly spray the bottom of a 9 inch square baking pan with a cooking spray( i use pam)

over medium heat melt the cheese and the butter together, stirring constantly til smooth

remove from heat and stir in vanilla (and nuts. i don't use them)

sift the sugar and cocoa together in a large bowl

pour the cheese mixture into the sugar mixture and stir.( it may get stiff and hands might be handier, ha!-me)

press or pour into pan and flatten evenly(mine poured pretty well)

refrigerate for about 30 minutes

from the "christmas with paula deen" cookbook
4 degrees out there. 14 below wind chill. 25 mile an hour wind gusts.

PHOOEY! poor little max kept trying to pick his feet up off of the ground!

it is not a good day for little blue smurfy type people!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

the owl's xmas party last night. yes, that's me with the red antlers in the ladies room!!!!

it was a lot of fun and the brownies and the "butter queen"paula deen fudge went over BIG TIME!

i'll post the recipe sometime tomorrow.
ah, the last day of zappadan and the solstice and it was my gramma's birthday!

happy solstice

Saturday, December 20, 2008

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

i made brownies for a xmas party AND i decided to try out a fudge recipe from the "butter queen" paula deen!

excellent fudge but damn, i don't even want to guess at the calories and the
fat content!!!!!!

now, you ALL know i'm a seriously committed chocolate freak( who should BE committed!)

but i could only eat ONE teeny tiny piece of this fudge. and that was without having any lunch!

i'll let you know what people think.

Your Love is Represented by a Purple Rose

For you, love is all about chemistry and attraction. You totally believe in love at first sight.

If a relationship is right, you know it from the start.

You're often sure of your feelings. And you're not afraid to express them.