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Not. My. Fault. (The "Common" Rede in LOLcat.)
I stoutly claim that this is either jenett's fault, or papersky's, depending on how you look at it. But I do admit to writing it.



1. We’re in ur perfek luv and trust, bidin ur rede like we must.
2. Dat fud urs, dis fud mine; keep in mind, an all be fine.
3. 3 times round that sirkl pass so evul spiruts CAN NOT HAS.
4. Kittehs wind up spell in ball by speekin it in wurds of LOL.
5. Sofft of paw and grate big ears; do not yowl and u shall heers!
6. Rightpaw round teh biggening moon, kittehs sing teh Witchc@t Roon.
7. Leftpaw round teh smalling moon, kittehs sing teh baneful tune.
8. Lady can has moon of new; kittehs hed-bash her times two.
9. When can has moon full enuf, then can has all sorts of stuff!
10. When North wind come, kitteh, take care! Srsly, iz cold out ther.
11. When South wind to kitteh sing, lov will come an smooches bring.
12. When teh West wind blow the mosts, iz no rest for kitteh ghosts.
13. When teh East wind stir teh air, fill teh bowlz wit fud to share.
14. In metal bukkit, put nine woodz; burn fast or slo, jus burnz em goodz!
15. Teh Elder is teh Lady’s tree. Be respektin it. Srsly.
16. When teh Year-Wheel starts to spin, lite Beltane fire FTW!
17. When Wheel iz turned and Yule is bornz, bow to Teh Ceiling Cat With Hornz.
18. Be respektin leafs and trees, and by teh Lady blessed beez!
19. Ur stone. U fling it. Strong and deft. (In streem, to find out WTF.)
20. When u has need of something moar, avoid kitteh who yowlz “NOT YOURS!”
21. Foolish cat iz foolish. U avoid him, or look foolish too.
22. Oh hai! I’ze purrin. Kthxbai! Warm kitteh heart, bright kitteh eye.
23. Teh Three-Fold Law: respekt it, pliz, cuz good or bad comez back in threez.
24. Misforchun? You has it, just a bit? Mai bloo star. Let me show you it.
25. Dis kitteh r mine, and I’z theyrs too. Keep this srsly 4 troo.
26. Teh Wiccan Rede can has wurds eight: kitteh harm none, do thy will. Thx! Grate!




The LOLcat Rede is copyright Elise Matthesen 2008; please do not reprint or repost without written permission. Permission can be gotten pretty easily by sending e-mail to elise@lioness.net. (I almost always say yes, but I love to find out how far it's spreading, and the permissions thing is good as a device to satisfy my curiosity on that.) Thank you. (And if you do reprint or repost without asking me, please please please include this paragraph so that my name and contact info go along with it so that the next person can ask, and I can find out how far it goes. If you see it out there anywhere uncredited, please tack this paragraph on. My catly curiosity thanks you.)