The Talking Centipede 

A single guy decided life would be more fun 
if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store 
and told the owner 
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, 
he finally bought a talking centipede, 
(100-legged bug), 
which came in a little white box 
to use for his house.

He took the box back home, 
found a good spot for the box, 
and decided he would start off 
by taking his new pet to the bar with him.

So he asked the centipede

in the box,
"Would you like to go 
to the bar with me today? 
We will have a good time."

But there was no answer 
from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, 
but he waited a few minutes 
and then asked again, 
"How about going 
to the bar with me 
and have a beer?"

But again, 
there was no answer 
from his new friend and pet. 
So he waited 
a few minutes more, 
thinking about the situation.

The guy decided 
to invite the centipede 
one last
time.

This time he
put his face up against 
the centipede's house and shouted,

"Hey, in there! 
Would you like to go 
to the bar 
for a beer?"

.....

This time, 
a little voice 
came out of the box,

 

"I heard you the first time!

I'm putting my Fucking shoes on!"