Sunday, August 13, 2006

as i wrote earlier, i'm going to repost my latest poem
and then some comments and crits from my workgroup
to show a bit of the process. i'm fudging a bit because this
work was well received, so it makes me look good( hey, why not? )
it's rare that i do so well the first time out! ha! s


pastels


my poems of you
have become water colored
translucent shades in
blues and greens
as if too many thoughts
have licked all the bright
from the page.



among the c&c's that i got it was mentioned that the choice of
blues and greens was a good choice,
"these colours give depth and possible implied meaning to the poem."
"i would keep 'bright'. it's essential to the poem...the more one thinks of
something(or somebody)the more difficult it becomes to picture it(or them)"

he was spot on about that. those color choices were deliberately chosen
and the poem means pretty much as he took it, tho, as another pointed out
there is a sensuality, a sexual feel to the work as well
another comment that the phrase' licked all the bright' was novel and catching
and that the poem is sad and wistful. that to was on the mark.
it's rare that my poems are taken as is by so many. usually i do strive to leave
them open to each reader's interpretations, but this i suppose, is universal, tho
some did see the sensuality and some did not. i am glad of that because i
do want each to personalize it.

one poet did, because he is also into art, realize that pastels
could be read as an art medium
but that was because it is a thing he is familiar with. i had that thought as well but
decided that most readers wouldn't be pulled up short by that.

so, this is how the c&c works, minus the real crits that we can get,
and those are useful and a big part of learning and the bettering of a poem.
if any reader has comments or crits about this work, please,
do comment here or mail me
afterthebridge@hotmail.com i'd appreciate them, i do listen. thanks, sherry

6 comments:

QUASAR9 said...

Sherry Rocks!
Have a great Sunday!

Sherry Pasquarello said...

thanks, you too!

LSqrd said...

Well, I can't get into all that analysis "stuff", but I DO like the peom. It strikes a chord....

Sherry Pasquarello said...

hiya!!!! i'm so happy that you commented and that you liked it. means a lot. have a grand day. ; )

Charlie Tee said...

That is really good...
Enjoyed it immensely, great metaphoric use of colors.
love ya,CT

Sherry Pasquarello said...

hey charlie! how are you?????

hope everyone's fine and the music is sweet! love ya back!