soft thoughts:
with each breath
changed
sing to me with your fingertips
i will touch you back in my voice
truth in the sound
lyrics in your embrace
songs in your hands
fate from my tongue.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
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6 comments:
Very nice.
hi, thank you both very much.
i'm pleased you liked it and happy that you commented. i always take the comments into consideration(especially nice ones )
i have insomnia. i sleep in like hour to hour and a half blocks of time, sometimes i get about 5 hours sleep if you'd add it up.
this poem was much larger, but it wasn't near as good as i thought it was just stripped down to the essentials.
thanks again!
I love the light and airy quality of the short stanzas. It seems just the right length to me.
hi carl, welcome, thanks. as i wrote, this was much larger, but it needed to be cut, so i did. i keep almost everything i write. i have 2 sloppily kept file drawers and i sometimes go back and end up with just 1 line, but it's enough to start me off on a decent or a good poem, all from one that i might have thrown away. i'd hate for anyone else to see the filed away ones. some of them make me cringe, but they are all helpful.
hi micky, glad you liked it. "fate" was a deliberate choice.
if you think of the whole poem, fate from my tongue, is the only word.
oh i realize that. and i take everything anyone says as giving me help that i could use. i just meant that fate was the word that had to be used here. some poems have a life of their own. i don't know if that makes any sense. ; )
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